Okay, so growing up in the '50's and '60's, women of my age were told that if you did all the right things and, more importantly, if you didn't do all the wrong things, you too could end up being June Cleaver, with a man to take care of you while you did the dishes and dusted with Pledge. Granted, in the '60's, we began to think we could do more, and sure enough we could and did. We had the freedom to burn our bras (and let's face it, they didn't cost then what they do now, and we didn't need them then as much as we do now!), sleep with whomever we chose, and all we had to worry about was getting pregnant or having to get a shot of penicillin, and we could still find Prince Charming to look after us after we'd sown our wild oats.
But it got confusing somewhere along the way. Somehow we went from the idea that we could have it all to the idea that we should have it all. I watched so many of my friends, as well as myself, trying to have the career, the family, the kids, wash the dog, change the oil in our cars, stay skinny, keep our skin fresh and wrinkle free, and smile, dammit! No wonder we turned to Prozac! We knew what vodka would do to our livers. We were educated, informed. We turned into a nation of consumers, and marketing exec's wet dreams.
My friend, Lou, admitted that she was what every marketer had in mind. If you just put it in a new package, she had to have it. The television was on in her house all the time, or the radio, and there was something about what everyone else said they had or wanted that kept her shopping, even when she didn't have the money. Deficit spending is not just for governments, after all! And if the big boys can do it, why can't we?
But in the backs of our minds, there was still the possibility of the fairy tale ending, when a man came along and fixed all the problems, just like in the romance novels. Somehow, though, he never showed up, and we were left to muddle through on our own. All the men we knew were struggling with the same problems we were, and they had their own version of the fairy tale to live up to - husband and provider and supportive career spouse and child caretaker and gardener and mechanic and electrician and be an emotionally sensitive man while being strong and stoic. Fairy tales have a lot to answer for, you know?
So here we are, it's the new century, and a new outlook is in my future, a more realistic one, I hope, where I can choose what I want and work for it, but knowing that having it all available doesn't mean I have to own it all. And it's nice to have someone to help around the house and cuddle with at night - more than nice if it's the right someone! - but you shouldn't expect anyone to ride up on a white charger, or in a Mercedes, and save you from yourself. Do it for yourself, and if someone comes along, you're more ready to be a true partner than a clinging vine.
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