02/07/06 Bus People

I've been riding the bus to work since we moved here, different ones but Metro Transit all the way. And I've come to the conclusion that intriguing people ride the bus. Scary people too, but intriguing.

I've heard some of the scariest things on the bus. Second worst was today, when a very young person announced loudly just as we were getting on the highway, "Mommy, I gotta go potty NOW!" Oh my. But the worst was last year on the 174 (which is filled to the brim with scary folks) when I heard a guy say, "Dude, I'm gonna puke," followed by that retching sound. Casually but quickly, most of us moved to the front part of the bus. Most. Not all. Some folks just didn't notice. See? Scary.

You have all your usual types, of course. The computer types with their laptops, the cell phone types who simply canNOT shut up - although the various ring tones can be entertaining - the ipod types who move to the music in their ears or let us listen to their music even though they have ear buds, the book readers (generally me), the newspaper readers who frequently beat people with their papers, the snoring sleepers (also frequently me). You know, just folks.

And I've found that people on the bus tend to be nice to tourists, give good advice and are really quite generous. These are the same people who are vicious to each other, mind you. One large lady was trying to get off the bus when it was standing room only, everyone was doing their best to get out of the way, but another lady, not much smaller in girth than the first one, growled, "Lose some weight, you cow." It almost got really ugly, but saner heads prevailed.

Bus drivers are interesting too. One guy is a sweetheart, smiles and is genuinely glad to see you; one lady is seriously tough on how people are to behave but she will absolutely get you there on time, no nonsense; one guy hates everyone and makes it clear; my current favorite is a a laconic smart-ass who cracks jokes over the PA system. You've got to listen, but he's got some funny observations. He's wickedly conservative right-wing Republican, but he's really a hoot.

I found out that the best way to keep a seat to yourself if the bus isn't too crowded is to cry. Got to the end of a book, it had a sad ending and I sat there sniffling. People crossed on the far side of the aisle rather than take I chance I might unload on them. I was amused, but I kept on sniffling. It was a good book.

All in all, I don't mind riding the bus. I'd rather not when the perfume junkies or the rancid unwashed are sitting near me, and obviously I'd much rather have Lillian come pick me up, but all in all, riding the bus is a great way to see a slice of the world right here at home. It's never the same twice, that's for sure!